pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
