why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
