I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
