It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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