yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
