yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize