my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My balls are so social today.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
