He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
