I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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