I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize