grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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