Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
