Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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