I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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