I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize