I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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