Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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