JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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