Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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