now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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