just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
