Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
