I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
