No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
