jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
