Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
