we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
