honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
