well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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