Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just had sex on a roof
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
