well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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