Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
