Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
