I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
