i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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