found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
