margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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