Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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