I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
