This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
