the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
