Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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