I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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