i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
