We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
