The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize