bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
