It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
