I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have post one night stand depression
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