This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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