apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
