Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
