So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
