Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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