Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just found puke in my bra..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
