just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
His nipple licking is glorious
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