i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
