put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
