But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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