The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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