Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I want a musical about memes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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